With less than 24 hours left on the clock till I fly off to London to conduct and participate in a recording with a 51-piece orchestra at Abbey Road Studios as part of the culminating experience for my Master's course, many mixed feelings come to the forefront. Excitement, derision. Doubt, happiness. A mixture of frustration, inspiration and exasperation adds some more heightened euphoria to the concoction of strange emotions, voices and whispers in and around my psyche.

It has indeed been a wild ride so far at Berklee Valencia with so many highs, lows, slow realisations and sudden occurrences. One thing that I can be sure of is the fact that I have understood so many things in the past ten months about myself, not to mention the possibilities that exist and the giant steps that lie ahead of me, creatively and decision-wise in the future. It's almost like my carefree and fun life the way it was back in New Delhi seems almost like another lifetime before. But I suppose that is all about the smaller sacrifice for the greater good.

Onwards, towards the piece of music I have been working tirelessly on over the past month - I could say that it is always a real challenge to distill your ideas and musical thoughts into something that truly and uniquely symbolises you and what your 'sound' is, not to mention the challenge that exists twisting an idea completely on its head and to try to build backwards from an already existing sound or something that is visually available. Being primarily a person that relies on how things 'sound' as opposed to how they should be 'written' or orchestrated, it is a giant leap to go to a place where you are trying to learn composition as opposed to focusing on producing and mixing, something that is being stressed on so much these days. You will often hear statements being thrown around like 'The song/track/idea is great, but you need to work on production.'

Having the thinking that comes from the perspective of a music producer, I fully subscribe to the notion that production is important. However, it came to me after a certain amount of time producing and mixing music that in essence, interesting music becomes easier to write when you really understand more about music compositionally. Therein lied the reason I decided to pursue a film/video game scoring program as opposed to going after music production. In this day and age, I feel like production has become such an essential part of the musical framework required from musicians and producers in the industry, it really does come back full circle to composition. There also lies the idea that certain music compositions stood the test of time and are still recognised as legendary, as opposed to the culture of music being produced en masse these days with countless music producers and electronic artists coming out with new music releases every other day. Among the noise, chaos and helter-skelter, what really stands?

Being a person that truly does believe more in quality and quantity, I have been constantly been posing myself this question and hitting a wall simultaneously. Over the past few years, the amount and quality of music I make has been varied. The reason behind it is perhaps, because I am truly trying to understand where the boundaries lie. Where does music end and sound begin? Are they really as dependent/independent as they are perceived? Does it really matter? While producers and electronic musicians reading this will scoff at these statements, when you really go into the orchestral side of music composition and try to pull apart the elements, you see rigidity and then you see so much flexibility. It's a bundle of contradictions, perhaps not that different from what popular musicians are trying to do these days. After all, every idea comes from somewhere doesn't it?

Time to pack and say my goodbyes for the week.

Abbey Road is going to be fucking legendary.

P.S - A Muse video I saw back in 2011 came to mind. I did once think it would be one of my major dreams to be there, much less even dared to think up that I would have my music performed and recorded there. Maybe dreams do come true after all. Here's to more.